you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
