what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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