Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
