as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
