Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
