when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
