So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
