I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
