There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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