Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
