so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
