omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
