piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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