I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
