He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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