all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
