life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I love you. Go after that dick
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
