I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize