He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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