I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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