i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
