My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
