I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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