Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
