I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
