i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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