I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
