i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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