talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize