did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
