my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
