is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
