I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
