I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
