I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It's shark week go big or go home
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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