yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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