working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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