did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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