So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
