I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
