I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize