Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Randomize
