Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize