I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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