oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
