..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
they call him Oral-B. enough said
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
