no, he came in my armpit
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Randomize
