Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
