Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
