And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
