Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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