Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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