i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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