Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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