Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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