we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She's the barista slut.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
