Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize