Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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