You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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