So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I wish i was in the wii world.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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