It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Dignity is for republicans.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
