I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
